37 ani

37 ani

Una dintre prietenele mele m-a mustrat recent ca am sarit peste aceasta aniversare ca si cand n-ar fi existat. Radea de mine ca deloc nu am dat domne’ importanta acestui “37”. Real e ca am petrecut aniversarea aceasta pentru prima oara departe de Radu si copii, in Cehia, unde eram invitata ca membru al juriului intr-un festival international de film. Asa ca pe de o parte mi se parea frumos ca ma prinde lucrand si intr-o postura asa onoranta, pe de alta parte imi lipseau foarte tare ai mei. Sentimente amestecate la aceasta aniversare.

E important de mentionat ca am ajuns exact la varsta pe care Radu o avea cand noi doi am inceput relatia. Sa se stie! 🙂 Eu nu aveam inca 19 ani impliniti, iar el avea 37. Si pentru ca diferenta era mare, foarte multi se simteau indreptatiti sa o comenteze pe Facebook sau pe ce alte canale mai gaseau ei disponibile acum 18 ani. Si radeam cu Radu ca – cel mai probabil niste copii – vorbeau despre el ca e “moshu”. Amandoi faceam (si mai facem inca) mistouri despre acest “moshu”, pronuntat intocmai cum era scris, fara diacritice, cu “sh”. Pentru ca niciodata pentru noi acea diferenta numerica nu a contat. Nu ne-am raportat la noi diferit, in baza acestei diferente. Nici macar glume legate de diferentele de generatii nu ne-a venit sa facem, pentru ca tot timpul ne-am simtit ca fiind in esenta la fel, cu aceleasi preocupari si cu aceleasi aspiratii. 

 

Dar, revenind la aniversarea mea, DA, e clar, pentru acei copii-adolescenti-tineri care il considerau pe Radu un “mosh” la 37 de ani, eu sunt o “baba”. Va rog sa nu o cititi intr-un ton grav, caci eu nu ma simt deloc o baba 🙂 Si nici nu am probleme legate de procesul iminent de imbatranire. Nu imi numar ridurile, nu caut firele albe de par. Poate si pentru ca inca sunt distribuita in roluri sub varsta din buletin, nu stiu. Dar am senzatia ca nu ma va speria nici pe viitor aceasta imbatranire fizica.

 

Si iar imi aduc aminte de ce imi spunea Radu la inceput, ca pentru el numarul asta, 37, nu inseamna nimic si ca de pe la 28 nu simte sa se fi schimbat cu ceva. Doar au trecut anii… Ah, si acum il inteleg atat de bine! Da, la 28 – 29 de ani simti ca esti deja format si apoi… doar trec anii. Desigur, maternitatea te schimba. Dar te schimba indiferent la ce varsta apare. In rest, vorbind si cu prietenele mele de aceeasi varsta, risti sa ajungi sa te uiti la niste tineri de 20 de ani si sa simti ca si tu esti la fel. Si totusi nu esti. Caci ai in continuare zvacnirea aia, entuziasmul si cheful de aventura de la 20 de ani. Dar totusi ai devenit mai cinic, uite, esti si nostalgic! Esti cumva la mijloc, prins intre. Dar cand s-a produs schimbarea? Cand ei, cei de 20 de ani, au renuntat sa se mai uite la tine ca la una de-a lor? Caci m-am uitat la lumanarile cu 3 si 7 si nu am stiut ce reprezinta. Cand? Cum? 

 

Si pentru ca marti am fost la Radio Guerilla la Stand Up Poetry si am recitat textul piesei lui Baz Luhrmann – Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen, il las si aici. Caci el sintetizeaza foarte bine perspectiva pe care o am acum, la treizeci si sapte de ani:

 

Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’99

Wear sunscreen

 

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it

A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists

Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable

Than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now

 

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind

You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth

Until they’ve faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back

At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now

How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked

You are not as fat as you imagine

 

Don’t worry about the future

Or worry, but know that worrying

Is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum

The real troubles in your life

Are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind

The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday

Do one thing every day that scares you

 

Saying, don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts

Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours

 

Floss

 

Don’t waste your time on jealousy

Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind

The race is long and in the end, it’s only with yourself

Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults

If you succeed in doing this, tell me how

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements

 

Stretch

 

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life

The most interesting people I know

Didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives

Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t

Get plenty of calcium

Be kind to your knees

You’ll miss them when they’re gone

 

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t

Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t

Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the ‘Funky Chicken’

On your 75th wedding anniversary

Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much

Or berate yourself either

Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s

 

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can

Don’t be afraid of it or what other people think of it

It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room

Read the directions even if you don’t follow them

Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly

 

Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good

Be nice to your siblings, they’re your best link to your past

And the people most likely to stick with you in the future

 

Understand that friends come and go

But a precious few, who should hold on

 

Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle

For as the older you get

The more you need the people you knew when you were young

Live in New York City once but leave before it makes you hard

Live in northern California once but leave before it makes you soft

 

Travel

 

Accept certain inalienable truths

Prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too, will get old

And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young

Prices were reasonable, politicians were noble

And children respected their elders

 

Respect your elders

 

Don’t expect anyone else to support you

Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse

But you never know when either one might run out

 

Don’t mess too much with your hair

Or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85

 

Be careful whose advice you buy but be patient with those who supply it

Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past

From the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts

And recycling it for more than it’s worth

 

But trust me on the sunscreen

 

In imagini port: hanorac si pantaloni ambele Parlor.ro, ochelari Lunet de la Ototo, tenisi Lasocki si geanta Marc Jacobs.