Aparente

Aparente

Aparent sunt super zen. Aparent. Doar ca pe sub masca asta, pe care m-am obisnuit sa o port ca sa nu imi arat vulnerabilitatea oricui si oricand, ascund o gramada un munte de stres.

EN: Apparently I’m super Zen. Apparently. But underneath this mask, which I am used to wearing so my vulnerability isn’t obvious to everyone any time, I am hiding a lot ton of stress.

Voiam sa scriu ca trec printr-o perioada aglomerata, dar nici macar nu e mai aglomerata ca alte perioade. Trec…prin viata. Repet pentru spectacolul “Leonce si Lena” la Unteatru, in fiecare zi. Imi place foarte mult, doar ca data primei vizionari se apropie, asa ca m-au cam apucat emotiile. Asa se intampla de fiecare data.

Iar Vlad, oh boy, trece printr-o faza in care e extrem de nervos. Nenica, nu poti sa spui nimic, nu poti sa ii ceri nimic, nu poti sa faci nimic cu el fara sa se mataie, sa planga, sa tipe…. Aplic strategii complicate si consumatoare de energie, negocieri lungi si obositoare de ambele parti, si ma rog in gand sa treaca, sa treaca si faza asta ca toate celelalte. Voi aveti copii de varsta lui Vlad care trec prin asta? Uneori pare ca are din nou 2 ani si nu pricep de unde vine regresul acesta, avand in vedere ca parca acum 1 luna ma uimea cu discursurile lui, cu sfaturile lui, de in loc de Perfectu’ ajunsesem si eu si Radu sa ii spunem Inteleptu’. Eh, acum Perfectu-Inteleptu e ca un pahar de cristal plin ochi cu apa. Exact asa trebuie sa umblam cu el, sa nu cumva sa ii zicem ceva, sa facem ceva care ar putea sa il tulbure.

Imi dau seama ca poate introiecta si stresul nostru provenit din alte medii. Imi dau seama ca lipsa rutinei data de gradinita isi spune cuvantul in vacanta. Imi dau seama ca faptul ca si-a schimbat programul de somn si acum se culca mai tarziu si se trezeste mai tarziu ar putea influenta starea lui. Dar, in acelasi timp, eforturile de remediere a situatiei par neizbutite. Ma gandesc sa il dau la un sport. De dimineta am sunat la un centru de inot pentru copii. A mai fost pe la World Class, dar profesorul l-a abandonat dupa cateva sedinte, spunand ca e totusi prea mic si prea nedisciplinat. Asa ca acum caut alt centru, dar care sa fie specializat in lucru cu copiii, sa aiba mai multa rabdare, toleranta si trucuri prin care l-ar putea domina, el fiind de altfel mare iubitor de apa.

Voi ce tehnici mai aplicati in astfel de faze ale copiilor?  De exemplu, dupa ce am fost la niste prieteni in vizita si el a inceput sa urle si sa planga doar pentru ca o fetita mai mica se tinea dupa el, apoi pentru ca s-a schimbat jocul si el voia in continuare jocul vechi, apoi pentru ca nu mai avea nu stiu ce apa a lui de baut…. am decis sa imi iau o zi libera si sa plecam cu rulota la mare, chiar si pentru o noapte si 3 balaceli. Ne-am intors aseara, parca ceva mai calmi, dar de dimineata o luase de la capat, fiind foarte revoltat de vechea regula a mancatului fara desene, pe care acum s-a gandit ca eu moment bun sa o renegocieze.

In momentul asta si-a deschis a doua acadea… God help me!

In poze port: rochie Ludmila Corlateanu, cercei Uterque. Iar tinuta in micare:

EN: I wanted to write about the busy period I am going through, but it isn’t even that busy. I am going through… life. I am rehearsing for the play “Leonce si Lena” at Unteatru, every day. I like that a lot, but as the first viewing draws closer, I am starting to get nervous. As I always do.  

And Vlad, oh boy, is going through a very angry phase. You can’t say anything to him, you can’t ask anything of him, you can’t do anything with him without him wining, crying, screaming… I am turning to long, complicated and energy consuming tactics, which are tiring on both parties, and I am secretly praying for it to go away, like it happened with other phases as well. Do you have kids of Vlad’s age who are going through the same thing?  Sometimes it’s almost like he’s 2 years old again and I don’t understand where this setback is coming from, because it was only one month ago that we were amazed with his speeches, his advice. We even started calling him the Wise one instead of the Perfect One. Well, the Perfect- Wise one is like a crystal glass filled with water. That’s exactly how we have to treat him, we’re always careful so we don’t disturb him.   

I realize it’s possible that he’s being aware of the stress we’re getting from other environments. I realize that the lack of routine he is used to from kindergarten also has a saying in the matter. I realize that changing his sleep routine and going to bed later at night also might influence his mood. But, at the same time, our efforts to make things better seem to have no effect whatsoever. I’m thinking he should play some sports. This morning I called a swimming center for children. He used to go to World Class, but the teacher abandoned him after a few lessons, saying that he might be too young and too undisciplined. So now I am looking for another center, which is specialized in working with kids, where they have more patience, tolerance and tricks to dominate him, because he really loves water.

What are your techniques in these phases? For instance, after visiting some friends where he starting screaming and crying only because a younger girl was chasing him, then because the game changed and he still wanted to play the old one, then because he couldn’t find his water… I decided to take a day off and take the trailer to the beach, even for just one night and 3 swims. We got back last night, a bit calmer, but in the morning he began all over again, being very angry with the old rule of eating without cartoons, which he considered would be a good time to renegotiate.  

Right this moment he wrapped open another lollipop… God help me!

In the pictures I am wearing: Ludmila Corlateanu dress, Uterque earrings. And above the outfit on the move.