Daca iti doresti cu adevarat…

Daca iti doresti cu adevarat…

Tot aud in jurul meu ca “Daca iti doresti cu adevarat, vei reusi!”. Pe bune?! Uneori, indiferent cat de mult iti doresti, indiferent cat de mult muncesti si cat de perseverent esti, visurile nu se implinesc. Pentru ca unele lucruri tin de sansa. Punct.

EN: All around me I keep hearing that “If you really want it, you can do it!” Seriously?! Sometimes, no matter how much you want something, no matter how hard you work for it and how perseverant you are, dreams don’t come true. Because some things also rely on chance. Period.

Intru intr-o sala de clasa a singurei scoli dintr-o comuna din apropierea Bucurestiului. Copiii ma recunosc din “La Bloc”, iar unii dintre ei se uita la mine ca la un extraterestru. Asteapta sa le vorbesc. Cam cum ar fi sa le zic acestor copii ca daca isi doresc cu tot sufletul ceva, visul lor va deveni realitate, chiar daca parintii le spun acasa ca ce nevoie au de scoala cand merg sa culeaga porumbul. Cam cat de cinica as fi ca de pe pozitia mea de copil cu sansa, sa le vorbesc lor despre puterea dorintelor si despre tot Universul care conspira la implinirea lor. Eu, extraterestrul, venit din lumea televiziunii. Nu, nu as putea. Nu as vrea sa ii mint spunandu-le asta, cum nu as vrea sa il mint nici pe copilul meu. Peste tot citesti povestile de succes ale unor oameni care au pornit de foarte de jos, care poate nu aveau ce manca, nu aveau unde locui, si care au ajuns mari oameni de afaceri care au schimbat lumea! Povesti adevarate, poate, desi mai mult ca sigur romantate. Dar in esenta, peste tot citesti si recitesti acest mit al Cenusaresei. Uite, ea si-a dorit foarte mult, a muncit si, iata, visul ei s-a implinit. Iar daca tie viata nu iti ofera ceea ce ti-ai dorit, ajungi sa traiesti brusc un sentiment de vinovatie – pentru ca probabil nu ti-ai dorit suficient de mult, ca altii, ori, sigur ca da, nu ai muncit destul! Te culpabilizezi, te simti mic, incapabil, si faci fata cu greu esecului – caci nu poti numi altfel decat “esec” neimplinirea traseului setat inca de mic, poate. NU. Adevarul e ca unele lucruri nu tin de noi, tin de sansa.

Cunosc atat de multi actori talentati, dar fara sansa. Nu spun ca trebuie sa astepti sa iti pice totul de-a gata. Muncesti, iti faci mereu treaba cat mai bine, ca atunci cand sansa vine, sa te gaseasca pregatit. Speri. Dar daca sansa nu vine… cred ca trebuie sa mergi mai departe si sa incerci macar sa nu te invinovatesti.

Parintii ne-au crescut spunandu-ne ca daca vom fi cei mai buni la scoala, vom reusi! Daca erai cel mai bun din clasa, era un semn bun. Cel mai bun pe scoala, si mai bun. Daca ratai pe municipiu la olimpiada, brusc simteai ca tot viitorul tau de om de succes se naruie. Si totusi terminai scoala cel mai bun, iar colegul de banca – ala pe care il lasai sa copieze, ca ti-era simpatic – ajunge seful tau intr-o multinationala. Si nu intelegi… Cum nu intelegi nici dorinta parintilor de a avea cei mai buni copii. Isi doresc parintii astia din tot sufletul ca al lor copil sa fie cel mai bun la invatatura, cel mai bun la inot, la pian, la desen, la matematica, cel mai bun din bloc, din cartier, din lume! Dar nici visurile lor nu se implinesc, oricat de mult isi doresc, pentru ca sa crezi ca poti fi cel mai bun e aproape o gluma. Iar copiii aia devin adultii vesnic nemultumiti de rezultatele lor, de cursul vietii lor de oameni obisnuiti.

Pozele sunt realizate in Tel Aviv. Port: rochie Ludmila Corlateanu, ochelari Ray Ban, geanta H&M, cercel Bon Bijou, espadrile Tex.

EN: I walk into the classroom of the only school from a village just outside of Bucharest. The children recognize me from “La Bloc”, and some of them look at me like I’m an alien. They are waiting for me to speak. What would it be like if I told these children that if they really want something, their dream could become a reality, even if their parents tell them that there’s no use for them going to school when they have to work the fields.  How cynical would I be to speak to them, from my condition of a child with opportunities, about the power of wishes and about the entire Universe conspiring for them to come true. I, the alien, coming from the television world. No, I couldn’t do that. I don’t want to lie to them, like I wouldn’t want to lie to my son. You can read success stories of people who started from rock bottom, who had nothing to eat, no place to live, and who ended up being important business men who changed the world!  True stories, maybe, but surely romanticized. But basically, everywhere you can read and reread this Cinderella myth. She wanted something very much, she worked hard for it, and there you have it, her dream came true. And if life doesn’t give you what you wished for, you suddenly experience a feeling of guilt- because you probably didn’t wish too hard for it, like others did, or you didn’t work enough to get it! You blame yourself, you feel small, incapable, and you handle failure very badly – because there’s no other word than “failure” for not fulfilling the path you set for yourself since an early age. NO. The truth is that something don’t depend on us, they depend on chance.

I know so many talented actors, who didn’t get a chance. I’m not saying you have to wait for everything to come to you. You work, I do your job as good as you can, so that when chance does show up, it will find you prepared. You hope. But if chance doesn’t show up… I think you have to just keep going and at least try not to blame yourself.

Our parents raised us by saying that if we are the best in school, we’ll succeed! Being best in your class was a good sign. Best in the whole school was an even better sign. If you failed in some competition, you suddenly felt like your entire future success is falling apart. And still you graduated top of your class, and your colleague- the one you let copy off of you, because he was funny- end up being your boss in a multinational company. And you just don’t get it… Like you don’t get why parents always want to have the best children. They want their child to be the best in class, at swimming, piano, drawing, math, in his neighborhood, in the whole word! But their dreams don’t become reality either, no matter how hard they wish for it, because thinking you can be the best at everything is almost a joke. And those children grow up to be adults, who are constantly dissatisfied with their results, their path in life as average people.  

The pictures were taken in Tel Aviv. I am wearing: Ludmila Corlateanu dress, Ray Ban glasses, H&M bag, Bon Bijou earring, Tex wedges.