De la etajul 148

De la etajul 148

Imagini de la etajul 148 din cea mai inalta cladire din lume, Burj Khalifa. Si o invitatie la discutia despre copii si telefoane mobile…

EN: Pictures from the 148th floor of the tallest building in the world, Burj Khalifa. And an invitation to an open discussion about kids and smartphones…

Mai multa lume pe blog m-a intrebat ce e cu acest etaj 148 din Burj Khalifa. Ideea e ca sunt mai multe categorii de bilete. Poti urca pana la 125 si cobori la 124, dar poti urca si pana la 148, ca mai apoi sa le vezi pe celelalte doua. E o diferenta de pret, dar cred ca merita, din mai multe motive. In primul rand, nu stai la aceleasi cozi. Se formeaza un grup separat, care asteapta intr-un lounge inainte de urcare, si care ajunge la etajul 148  cu un lift diferit fata de cele care urca la 124, respectiv 125. Iar la 148 esti intampinat cu sucuri, cu prajituri, ai un spatiu destul de generos cu canapele si fotolii, din care poti admira linistit ametitoarea priveliste. Dupa cum vedeti, nu e aglomerat, cum e la celelalte 2 etaje. Chiar am gasit acest loc din imagini, in care nu era nimeni la ferestre, si am putut face fotografiile linistiti. Ma rog, nu foarte linistiti, ca doar eram cu Vlad, care avea continuu diverse cerinte… o prajiturica, un suc, hai pe partea cealalta, hai afara, hai inauntru, hai sus pe canapele, hai pe fotolii, hai da-mi telefonul. Si aici e buba. Cum evitati voi dependenta de telefon?

De ce sa fiu ipocrita, telefonul poate fi aur in anumite momente: in avion, in masina la drumuri lungi, in cozi de asteptare la diverse atractii, la restaurant in vacante inainte sa vina mancarea, la doctor, si in multe alte situatii cand simti ca ai nevoie si tu ca parinte de 5 minute de liniste, iar jucariile pe care le ai cu tine in geanta nu mai au niciun efect. Dar cum faceti voi sa nu devina telefonul cea mai misto chestie din lume? Nu cred in interzicerea accesului la tehnologie. Asta va fi generatia. El va fi cel care imi va explica in foarte scurt timp cum functioneaza lumea asta noua, ultra-tehnologizata. Nu cred ca trebuie sa inoti impotriva curentului mereu. Plus ca am gasit cateva aplicatii care s-au dovedit foarte utile. De exemplu: lui Vlad nu ii place sa deseneze. Vede cum alti copii mai mari la gradinita se descurca mult mai bine decat el, si atunci a ajuns chiar sa refuze sa mai tina creionul in mana. Asa ca solutia a fost sa gasim mereu diverse jocuri prin care sa fie nevoit sa traseze linii, cercuri, cu degetul sau cu diverse obiecte (nu neaparat creioane sau pensule), cat sa exerseze si sa capete curaj. Cand suntem la plaja, ne jucam un fel de prinselea, in care “casa” e un cerc pe care trebuie sa il deseneze singur in nisip. Fiind o joaca, nu mai simte presiunea desenatului unui cerc perfect, si o face cu bucurie. Apoi eu ii zic, in timp jocului: “Uau, asta chiar e un cerc reusit, sa stii”, si asa facem progrese. Asadar, pe acest principiu am inceput sa caut aplicatii in care el sa poata desena cu degetul conturul unor litere sau cifre, ca macar statul pe telefon sa fie cu folos.

Recunosc, in schimb, ca ma frustra teribil ca eram la etajul 148 al celei mai inalte cladiri din lume si ca, dupa 10 minute, Vlad deja imi cerea telefonul. Fusese foarte entuziasmat la inceput. De altfel, vedeti si in poze cum ne uitam amandoi pe geam si discutam despre cladirile pe care le vedeam, despre cat de mici erau masinile, cautam hotelul nostru sau numaram piscinele. Radea si imi spunea bucuros: “Masinilie sunt ca niste soricei mici, mici de tot.” Dar au fost cateva minute de glorie, apoi a inceput sa se frasuie. Daca ar fi fost dupa el, am fi coborat probabil dupa 10 minute. Asadar, ca sa ne putem bucura de experienta respectiva ceva mai mult timp, am cedat: “Da-i telefonul!”.

Incercam totusi sa ne tinem de cateva reguli, sa luam cateva masuri, ca joaca pe telefon sau uitatul la desene sau povesti pe el sa nu se transforme intr-o dependenta cretina.  In primul rand sunt atenta la ce urmareste si ce aplicatii foloseste. Incercam sa fim langa el cand o face, adica sa ne uitam impreuna. Il pun sa imi povesteasca ce vede, ii spun daca un video sau un joc imi place, si de ce altul nu imi place si mi se pare pierdere de timp. Si – cel mai important – cand ii dau telefonul ii spun de dinainte pentru cat timp il poate avea. “Iti las telefonul timp de 5 minute. Uite, acum e ora 6:53. Cand va fi 6:58 va trebui sa mi-l dai.” Uneori incepe o negociere, “nu, 10 minute”, “nu, 8 miunte”, dar de cele mai multe ori accepta conditiile din prima, iar la finalul timpului mi-l aduce resemnat, fara proteste. Voi mai aveti si alte sfaturi pe acest subiect? Sau poate imi spuneti la ce sa ma astept pe viitor, daca aveti copii mai mari.

Inchei cu o poveste recenta, care se leaga exact de acest subiect. Tocmai ce ne intorsesem din Vietnam, iar Vlad era zapacit cu somnul. Era prea entuziasmat de camera lui, de fostele lui jucarii, de tot ce regasise acasa, si nu voi sa se culce sub nicio forma. Asa ca Radu l-a luat cu masina la o plimbare. Pe drum, a inceput sa se mataie ca vrea telefonul. “Nu, nu ti-l dau acum.” “Il vreaaauuu….” si a inceput plansul si urlatul, fiind de altfel extrem de obosit in momentul respectiv. “Vlad, daca ramai linistit si nu plangi pana ajungem cu masina la caini (mergeau spre pesiunea la care lasasem cainii pe timpul vacantei), ti-l voi da pe drumul de intoarcere. Dar trebuie sa nu plangi, sa nu mi-l mai ceri, sa nu te mai alinti asa…” Era o schema. Radu spera ca stand linistit, in 5 minute sa adoarma. Doar ca a ajuns la destinatie cu el treaz. “Tata, am ajuns. Vreau telefonuuuuuul!!!!”. “Pai, Vlad, nu ai stat linistit cum te-am rugat. Ai plans dupa el”. Si aici raspunul ingenios al lui Vlad, cu lacrimi in ochi: “Am plans….de fericire.” Suntem facuti, va zic.

In poze port: rochie H&M, pantofi Zara, ochelari Burberry, geanta Marc Jacobs.

EN: A lot of people on the blog have asked me what the deal is with this 148th floor of Burj Khalifa. There are a couple of ticket categories. You can go up to the 125th floor and then you go down to the 124th, but you can also go up to the 148th, and see the other two afterwards. There is a price difference, but I think it’s worth it, out of many reasons. First of all, you don’t have to wait in the same lines. There is a separate group, which waits in a lounge before the ascend, and which gets to the 148th floor with a different elevator than the ones going to the 124th and 125th. And on the 148th you are welcomed with juices, cakes, you have a wide space with couches and armchairs, from which you can admire the dazzling view in peace. As you can see, it’s not crowded, like it is on the other 2 floors. We even found this spot in the pictures, where there was no one at the windows, and we could take pictures in peace. Well, not so much in peace, since we were there with Vlad, who constantly needed something…a cake, a juice, let’s go to other side, outside, inside, on he couches, give me the phone. And here’s the catch. How do you avoid this addiction to the phone?   

I don’t want to be a hypocrite, the phone can be gold in certain moments: in the plane, in long drives, while waiting in line, in restaurants while on vacation before the food comes, at the doctor’s, but also in many other situations when you feel like you need some quiet time for 5 minutes, and the toys you are carrying in your bag aren’t working anymore. But how do you stop the phone from being the coolest thing ever? I don’t believe in forbidding the access to technology. This is the generation. He will be the one explaining to me how this new world works, ultra-technologized. I don’t believe you should swim against the tides. Plus I have also found some apps which have proven to be very useful. For instance: Vlad doesn’t like to draw. He sees how older children in kindergarten are doing better than him at drawing, and so he is refusing to even hold the pencil. So the solution was to always find games which force him to draw lines, circles, with the finger or with other objects (not necessarily pencils or brushes), so he could practice and have more courage. When we are at the beach, we play a sort of “catch”, where the “house” is a circle he has draw on the sand himself. Since it’s a game, he doesn’t feel the pressure of drawing a perfect circle, and he does so gladly. Then I say, during the game: “Wow, this really is a good circle, you know”, and that’s how we make progress. So, based on this principle, I started looking for apps in which he can draw with his finger the outlines of letters or numbers, so that using the phone is also useful.  

But I must admit that I am terribly frustrated by the fact that while we were on the 148th floor of the tallest building in the world, only to have Vlad ask for the phone after 10 minutes. He was very excited in the beginning. You can see in the pictures how we were both looking out the window and talking about the buildings we could see, about how small the cars were, we were looking for our hotel or counting the pools. He was laughing and telling me happily: “The cars are like very small mice.” But those were just a few moments of glory, afterwards he started fussing around. If it were up to him, we probably should have left after 10 minutes. So, in order to enjoy this experience for as long as we could, we gave in: “Give him the phone!”.

We do try to stick to certain rules, to take some measure, so that playing on the phone or watching cartoons on it doesn’t transform into a stupid addiction. First of all I am paying attention to what he’s watching and what apps he’s using. We try to be around when he does, so that we watch everything together. I make him tell me what he sees, I tell him when I like a video or a game, or why I don’t like another. And- most importantly- when I give him the phone I tell him how long he can have it for. “You can have the phone for 5 minutes. Look, it’s 6:53. When it’s 6:58 you’ll have to give it back.” Sometimes we start a negotiation, “no, 10 minutes”, “no, 8 minutes”, but most of the time he accepts the conditions and when the time is up he brings it back. Do you have any other advice on this subject? Or maybe you can tell me what to expect in the future, if you have older children.

I am wrapping up with a recent story, connected to this subject. We had just got back from Vietnam, and Vlad was very confused by the jetlag. He was too excited with his room, his old toys, with everything he found in the house, and he didn’t want to go to bed at all. So Radu took him for a drive. On the road he started whining that he wants the phone. “No, you can’t have it now.” “But I waaaaaant it…” and then the crying and screaming started, because he was very tired at that time. “Vlad, if you’ll be quiet for a while and if you don’t cry until we get to the dogs (they were driving to pick up the dogs from where we left them during our vacation), I will give it to you on the way back. But you’re not allowed to cry, ask for it, or whine like that…” Radu was hoping that if he would be still, he would fall asleep in 5 minutes. But when they go to the destination he was still awake. “Dad, we’re here. I want the phooooooone!!!!” “Well, Vlad, you didn’t sit still like I asked you to. You cried for it”. And now Vlad’s clever answer, with tears in his eyes: “I cried…because I am happy.” We’re done, I’m telling you. 

In the pictures I am wearing: H&M dress, Zara shoes, Burberry glasses, Marc Jacobs bag.