Cand ramanem singure

Cand ramanem singure

Am ramas singura in camera mea din Tenerife. Radu si Vlad au coborat la piscina. Aveam nevoie de un moment al meu, in care sa va scriu in liniste.

EN: I am alone in my room in Tenerife. Radu and Vlad are at the pool. I needed a moment just for myself, so I could write you in peace and quiet.

Am inchiriat un aparatament prin airbnb, aproape de Los Cristianos Tenerife, care sa aiba si acces la o piscina, stiind cat de mult ii place lui Vlad sa “inoate” (ghilimelele sunt, desigur, necesare). De cand am ajuns in insula am facut sute de kilometri cu masina si am bifat multe dintre recomandarile voastre: El Teide, Masca, Orotava, padurile si muntii din NE, Los Gigantes, Icod de los Vinos, Loro Parque, Monkey Park, iar maine ne intoarcem (a doua zi deci) in Siam Park.

Dar acum am un moment al meu si nici nu stiu ce sa fac mai intai. Ce sa fac pentru mine, inainte de a pune niste paste la fiert pentru copil. Mai ca imi vine sa deschid sampania aia pe care am cumparat-o acum vreo 2 zile de la supermarket si pentru care nu mi-am mai gasit energie seara. Sau sa termin cartea “Jurnalul Annei Frank”, pe care o tarasc de atat de multe zile dupa mine, incat a ajuns intr-o stare groaznica. Sau poate sa va scriu voua despre cat de rare si necesare sunt totusi momentele acestea DOAR ale noastre, dupa ce devenim mame.

E minunat ce traim. Copilul imi aduce fericirea si dragostea de care nu credeam ca sunt capabila. Vreau sa fiu un parinte bun si in fiecare zi ma gandesc la ce as putea sa ii ofer copilului meu, la cum ar trebui sa il educ, ce ar trebui sa evit si cum as putea sa ii inteleg pe deplin nevoile. Dar, uneori, rareori, am nevoie sa ma gandesc si la mine. La ce imi doresc si ce simt eu acum, la nevoile mele. Sunt egoista? Poate ca da, in momentul asta, dar e doar un moment.

Si va invit si pe voi sa fiti egoiste – in felul acesta – din cand in cand, pentru ca doar asa putem ramane niste femei echilibrate. Nu suntem numai mame, numai sotii, numai angajate, numai cu grija si cu gandul la nevoile celorlalti. Va rog sa imi scrieti care sunt lucrurile pe care le faceti doar pentru voi, oricat de neinsemnate ar parea la prima strigare. Si pornesc eu lista cu lucruri pe care am inceput sa le fac DOAR pentru mine, dupa ce am devenit mama, ca sa va dau curaj:

• am inceput cursuri de chitara
• iau lectii de engleza, pentru accent
• citesc carti care NU sunt de parenting (raportul a ajuns undeva la 5 la 1 non-parenting/parenting)
• am inceput sa folosesc constant creme de corp si fata
• m-am apucat de sala
• vad mai multe filme, cu laptopul in brate, dupa ce adoarme copilul – daca nu as fi atat de obosita as vedea mai multe
• vreau sa nu mai ratez Ziua cu Fetele (care de fapt inseamna cateva ore intr-un loc dragut ori acasa la una dintre noi), o data pe saptamana

Sigur, daca aveti un bebe de cateva luni, lista ar putea cuprinde activitati de genul: am facut o baie in cada, mi-am facut pedichiura, m-am vopsit…. Gresesc? Deci, care e lista voastra, ladies?

In poze port: rochie Nissa, ciocate Marc Jacobs, geanta Moon cu fata detasabila noua White Spots.

EN: We rented out an apartment through airbnb, close to Los Cristianos Tenerife, which also access to a pool, since Vlad really loves to “swim” (the inverted commas are obviously necessary). Since we got to the island, we drove a few hundred kilometers and we saw many of the places you recommended to us: El Teide, Masca, Orotava, the woods and mountains from the NE, Los Gigantes, Icod de los Vinos, Loro Parque, Monkey Park, and tomorrow we’ll go back (so for the second time) to Siam Park.

But now I have a moment just to myself and I don’t even know what to do first. What to do for myself, before I boil some pasta for the kid. I almost feel like opening the bottle of champagne we bought 2 days ago from a supermarket and for which we couldn’t find the energy in the evening. Or maybe I should finish “The Diary of Anne Frank”, which I have been carrying along for so many days now and which looks awful in the meantime. Or maybe I should write to you about how rare and necessary these moments JUST for ourselves really are, especially after we become mothers.

The life we’re living is wonderful. The child brings me the happiness and love I never thought I would be capable of. I want to be a good parent and every day I think about what I could give to my child, about how I should raise him, how I should bring him up, what I should avoid and how I could fully understand his needs. But sometimes, not too often, I need to think about myself too. About what I want and feel right now, about my needs. Am I being selfish? Maybe I am, right now, but it’s juts a moment.

And I invite you to be selfish too- in the same way- every once in a while, because that’s the only way we can remain balanced. We’re not just mothers, wives, employees, only thinking of other’s needs and being concerned by them. Please write to me what you like to do just for yourselves, no matter how insignificant they might seem at first. And I will being the list of things I began doing JUST for myself, after I became a mother, to give you courage:

• I started guitar lessons 
• I am taking English lessons, for the accent
• I am reading books which are NOT parenting ones (the ratio is about 5 to 1 non-parenting/parenting)
• I began using skin moisturizers and body lotions on a regular basis 
• I started going to the gym
• I am watching more movies, with my laptop on my lap, after the child falls asleep- if I wasn’t so tired, I could watch more
• I don’t want to miss Girls Day anymore (which actually means a few hours a day in a nice place or at home), once a week

Of course, if you have a few months old baby, the list could contain things like: I took a bath in the tub, I got my pedicure done, I dyed my hair…. Am I wrong? So, what’s your list, ladies?

In the pictures I am wearing: Nissa dress, Marc Jacobs boots, Moon clutch with the new detachable cover White Spots.